Our Peanut Allergy Back Story

April 2nd, 2006 is a date I will never forget. This is the day we gave Gabrielle peanut butter for the first, and last time. We had followed the doctor’s recommendations for introducing new foods and had never had any issues up to this point. Although she suffered from eczema as a baby, we had no family history of allergies on either side and really no reason to think Gabrielle would be any different. We had planned to give her peanut butter that Sunday morning. Normally we would ease into Sunday. Breakfast would usually be consumed in pyjamas. On this day, however, we decided to get ourselves showered, dressed, and ready for the day just in case. In hindsight, it was a very good idea.

Although she loved her first bite of peanut butter on a cracker, it was instantly obvious that something was wrong. An immediate hive around her mouth quickly turned to swelling of the lips and face, crying, itching at her neck, and panicked parents. Nadia grabbed a facecloth and started wiping Gabrielle’s face and mouth as I rushed to call 911. The paramedics arrived extremely quickly and provided very good care. They told us they would be taking her to CHEO (Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario), that Nadia could ride with them, and that I should meet them there. They told me not to try to keep up with the ambulance (I didn’t listen to that part).

As they closed the doors I got into my car ready to follow, but the ambulance didn’t leave. We sat there for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, the driver got out of the ambulance, ran to the back, and closed the door. I felt sick. I jumped out of the car and ran to the back door, but I could not get it open and the tinted windows did not allow me to see inside. It was such a helpless feeling. I later learned that Nadia could see me through the window and was trying to open the door for me. Inside, the paramedics were in contact with the doctors at CHEO, who suggested they should not wait to administer epinephrine. They would have to give it to her via a syringe in the back of the ambulance. The doctor gave the directions for the exact dosage to the paramedics, which was then administered. She was then rushed off to the hospital.

When I arrived I frantically searched for them in the triage area. A team of doctors and nurses surrounded Gabrielle. Luckily Nadia was there as I would not have recognized my daughter without her mother standing beside her. She was so swollen. Her lips looked like they do in cartoons or movies when parodying allergic reactions. It seemed as if one touch would cause them to explode. Later in the day, the nurses in an effort to relax us kept referring to her jokingly as, “Angelina Jolie”.

Eventually, we were sent home from the hospital. Future allergy tests would confirm a severe anaphylactic allergy to peanuts and also positive results for tree nuts and crab. Tests in the years to follow would confirm all but peanut to be false positives and thus her only allergy. 

By the next morning, the only way to know that anything bad had happened would be to look at me. I was terrified. I felt responsible. After all, I gave my daughter something that could have killed her. It broke me. Over the next few years, I spiraled deeper into fear and darkness. Eventually, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I would feel sick every time I needed to feed Gabrielle. I saw swelling, rashes, and hives that weren’t there. It got to the point that I was too scared to take her to the park. Fearing a kid on the swings before her had eaten peanut butter for breakfast. As I said, I was not thinking rationally or logically and I knew it. A doctor once joked with me that peanuts weren’t hiding around the corner waiting to jump out at us. But at the time, to me, it felt like it.  

I’m happy to say that I got help. Over time I learned to understand and take control of my thoughts and her allergy and am a better person for it. I still obsess over keeping Gabrielle safe, but now I don’t let her allergy stand in the way of her doing anything. I have gone from not wanting anyone to cook for her other than Nadia and me, to having one of her first-ever chef-prepared meals on a cruise in the middle of the ocean. More about that in a later post.

We experienced many events since that April day more than 17 years ago. We’ve been on cruises, airplanes dined out, she started school, moved on to high school, and at the time of updating this post, is about to move to England for University! Along the way, there were sleepovers, sleepaway camps, school trips and so much more. We try new things and we have fun. Over the years I have learned a lot about parenting a child with an allergy. I have spent countless hours looking for safe places to eat both at home and when on vacation. Researching airlines, hotels, cruises, summer camps and so much more. It is now a big part of my life. I want to share what I have learned with the hope of helping and connecting with others experiencing the same thing.

Thanks for reading,

Ted